It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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