How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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