we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
