we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize