i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i believe in u and ur pee
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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