I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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