In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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