she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
