**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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