u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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