Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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