I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
did i just pee glitter
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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