I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
