He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
