its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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