so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
