omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
