You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
