all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
