I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
