When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize