come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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