uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
