that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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