How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize