Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I will be naked everywhere
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
