Porn is love you can see.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
