My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
