The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
