Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
