Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
