I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
tell me about the fingering
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