She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize