dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
