i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
