Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
