This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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