their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
