We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
