I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
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