i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
bring money and cleavage
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
