Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
