ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
