You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
