He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
