I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
