Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
