problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
