How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i drank out of a bidet.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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