I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
