She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she told me i tasted like america
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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