Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
