I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
