it was like his penis was on wheels.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
