he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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