she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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