you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
