North Korea, Best Korea!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
