I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I've blown a few things in my day
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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