i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
