Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
