Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
