Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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