maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
