I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
