Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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