Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
